When I am weak…

Have you ever heard a king, president, prime minister, or any other leader of a nation say, “I am just so weak and feel incapable to rule?” 

Part of my daily routine is listening to portions of the Bible read aloud. The other day, as I was half-listening to 2 Samuel chapter 3, one verse pierced through like a clear voice: “And today, though I am anointed king, I am weak…” 

At the beginning of 2 Samuel, David is just becoming the king of the relatively new nation of Israel after much turmoil with the first king, Saul (such as Saul repeatedly attempting to hunt down and kill David). The chapter begins by explaining, “The war between the house of Saul and the house of David lasted a long time. David grew stronger and stronger, while the house of Saul grew weaker and weaker.” However, as with all wars, there is much loss. David is inheriting a bit of a messy situation in the nation of Israel, filled with conflict, pain, and the desire for revenge. At the end of chapter 3, even though David’s fame and acclaim is on the rise as the anointed king, he admits that he is weak. 

Part of what I’ve always loved about the stories of King David is his continued humility. This man has literally just been coronated king and “all the people took note and were pleased; indeed, everything the king did pleased them.” For many, that would give them a big head. Yet, David acknowledged his own weakness. 

This verse resonated with me because I feel weak walking into my own anointing. Though I am not entering into anything as grand as leading a nation, I am preparing for a major life change. The Lord has made it clear that He is leading me into this new job in a new context, country, culture, and language but as I learn more and more about the messiness that I am walking into, I feel very unqualified to engage in the task that is ahead.  

When I completed cross-cultural training before moving overseas for the first time, one of the instructors said something that I will always remember:  

“If you feel completely capable to do what’s next, then you’re probably not following God’s will for your life.”  

There are many other new roles and transitions in life besides moving to another country that can make us feel this acute inadequacy. Perhaps you are finishing school and beginning your career for the first time… but can any number of years in school truly prepare you for wrangling a classroom of children or dealing with a dying patient? Perhaps you are about to become a mother or father for the first time… but can any books or podcasts really prepare you for the reality of sleepless nights, temper tantrums, and teenage rebellion? 

The truth is that even as Christians anointed by God by His Holy Spirit, we are still weak and sinful people. However, perhaps an awareness of our own weakness is valuable. When we realize that we are weak, then God can truly use us for His glory without our pride attempting to rule and dictate the situation. When we admit our weakness, then the Lord can kindly take us by the hand and lead us in the way we should go. 

As I have been wrestling with my own weakness and what to do with it, I think of the words of Paul in 2 Corinthians 12:9-10:

“But [the Lord] said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 

I may not yet be at the point where Paul was of delighting in my weaknesses, but I will cling to the truth that when I am weak, Christ is strong. His grace is sufficient, as the Lord in His faithfulness has shown over and over again. And in many ways that is far beyond my understanding, His power is made perfect in weakness. Praise God!